


People Can Be Cruel

by orphan_account



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Antisemitism, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Nazis, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22792252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jake Peralta is assigned a job after there a shortage on nine nine officers. This job? Protect a neo nazi rally.Jake freaks out and trauma from prison resurfaces.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it seems like I all in one paragraph. It’s not supposed to, that’s just the way it copied from word

The nine-nine all entered the briefing room and sat in their respective chairs. The sarge standing in front of them all looked pensive. As if there was some sort of bad news, he really didn’t want to tell anyone.   
“So, what's up sarge?” Jake said noticing how off Terry seemed.  
He sighed and help up his clipboard, “As you all know there is supposed to be a protest tomorrow afternoon,” everyone nodded in agreement, ”Well, up until now we didn’t know what this protest was for,” Terry paused, “It’s for Neo-Nazis,”  
The room grew quiet. This was NYC, out of all the protests there could be it had to be Nazis. Jake had dealt with bullying when it came to him being Jewish.   
The first time it happened he was in 1st grade. A big brute of a kid walked up to Jake, “How come you aren’t doing Christmas?” he asked.  
Jake was sitting in the sandbox on the playground. He looked up at the kid, “Well, I have Hanukah,”  
The kid frowned, “What's that?”  
“Well, you celebrate Jesus, but my religion doesn’t believe in him the same way you do,” Jake said trying to explain.  
The kid just looked down and said, “You’re going to Hell,” It hit Jake like a sledgehammer and for three years after that he became ashamed to be Jewish.  
The most recent time was back at prison. One of the guards enjoyed hurting the inmates. And he just so happened to be racist, sexist, homophobic, and a Nazi. He would get beat up day after day. Sometimes he would even get tased and then people would laugh. And that caused some major PTSD, but Jake didn’t want anyone to know that.  
Terry looked directly at Jake,” Now I know that well are against these guys, but we are legally required to protect them,” groans emitted from the room. Amy took Jake’s hand is her own.   
“Sarge, I don't think anyone of us are going to willingly go protect them,” Rosa said folding her arms.  
“It’s not our choice to make, we’re also low on officers currently so we’ll have to place some detectives in, but they will be paid overtime. And I’m sorry but I’m not allowed to choose who gets to go and who doesn’t,” More groans from everyone else.   
\-------------------------------------------------  
Jake sat at his desk trying to focus on his case, but he was finding it hard to. His mind kept wandering back to being in prison. And all the other times people have been mean to him because he was Jewish. He could see Amy looking at him from the corner of his eye. He made eye contact with her and gave her a reassuring smile. It mustn't have reassured her because she walked over to him, “If they choose you I’m sure they won’t make you go, considering...”  
Jake sighed, “I hope,”  
Amy smiled slightly, “I love you,”  
“I love you too,”   
Amy got up and walked back over to her desk.  
Jake couldn’t help but feel anxious as the names of people that would have to go got called. When the entire list was read and Jake's name hadn’t been called, he started to feel like maybe he was safe, “And the last person to go is... Detective Peralta,”  
He felt his blood go cold, “Seriously?”   
The person announced the names shrugged, “Yep, sorry,”  
Jake slumped back in his chair, he could feel people giving him sympathetic looks, he hated it.  
“He can’t go,” Rosa spoke up, “You know you could be putting him in danger, right?!”  
Jake put his hand up,” Rosa, its fine,”  
Rosa opened her mouth to say something but closed it. She rolled her eyes.  
\-----------------------------  
Jake sat in bed next trying to read an article to how Giraffes fight each other using their necks, but his brain kept revolving around the fact that he had to protect the people that want him dead. Amy stepped out of the bathroom and crawled in bed beside him, “Are you ok?” she asked.  
Jake sighed and shrugged, “I guess, it's not the worst thing I’ve been assigned to do,”  
“You can fake being sick,” Amy suggested, “Or I could take your place,”  
“Thanks Ames, but I don’t think that would work,”  
“I don’t think that would work, tittle of your sex tape,” she joked trying to lighten the mood with one of his jokes.  
He chuckled, “What would I do without you Amy!”  
, “Crash and burn,” she leaned in and kissed him.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
Jake woke up and right away he knew today was going to suck. He didn’t sleep much, his anxiety kept different situations in which he got hurt, or worse. He wished he could just lay in the bed and watch die hard. But alas, he had to make money to provide for he and Amy.  
He forced himself out of the bed and stretched some. Amy stirred awake beside him, “Are you sure you can do this?” she asked him one last time.  
He nodded; he was getting tired of people making such a big deal out of it. It would only last a couple hours and then he could go back to Amy.   
He entered the precinct around 9:00 am, the protest wouldn’t be until 12, so he a few more hours to ponder what could happen. He sat at his desk and played a fidget cube (Amy bought it after noticing how ADHD Jake was) he was trying to get his mind off things, it didn’t work. He tried taking deep breaths but that didn’t help much either.   
It was odd, most of the time Jake was the one cheering people up but now it seemed everyone was doing their best to cheer him up.   
“I’m just overreacting,” he said to himself, “It's not like they’ll know that I’m Jewish, they probably won’t even look at me,” He started to calm down.   
He got some busy work done, just some minor cases that were put on the back burner. One was about how a kid was mad that the ice cream man charged him extra. Jake had no idea how this got in his pile. But eventually the time came. He looked up at the clock, ten more minutes. His heart rate picked up again.   
He sighed and grabbed his things, “This is stupid,” he mumbled to himself.   
He waved to Amy. She stood and walked to him, “Be careful,”  
Jake smirked, “Title of your sex tape,”


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake has a hard time.

Jake walked out with everyone else who had been assigned to do this. It was cold, and the wind wasn’t helping. He sighed and kept walking. When the protest (which was more of a rally at this point) came into view all Jake saw was middle aged men with swastikas on their arms. it made Jake feel physically ill. One good thing he saw was a bunch of teens and young adults who were counter protesting. Unlike the Nazis’, their signs were about love and kindness.   
One of them turned to Jake, “Why are you protecting them and not us?” she asked. Quite a few eyes were looking at Jake.  
“We really aren’t given a choice, I would love to be doing anything but this at the moment,”  
The person didn’t look satisfied with Jake’s answer but decided not to say anything else.  
Jake walked over to where he was positioned to stand. He heard a multitude of slurs get yelled out. Each time someone yelled one, he flinched. He tried to keep his cool as much as he could, but it was hard. He kept looking at his watch wishing that he would see that he didn’t have much longer. But time seemed to be going slower and slower. He couldn’t even think of a joke to tell himself. He hated everything about this.  
He tried to find his happy place, which was taking Bruce Willis’ place in Die Hard. That couldn’t even cheer him up. In all honesty, even before this Jake hadn’t been as cheery as he usually was. Maybe it was stress, who knows. He just really hoped no one had noticed. If people noticed then they would ask if he was ok, and then he would end up venting out all of his feelings. He would then cry, and he was not in the mood to cry.   
One of the things his dad taught him was that it was a weakness to cry. Jake vividly remembers was how Jake had skinned his knee after falling off his bike. He ran into the house, tears streaming down his face. His mother tended to him, but his dad sat on the coach and grumbled something. Once his mother had left his dad got up and walked to him, “Men don’t cry,” he said grimly.   
Jake shivered at the memory.   
More and more of these white supremacists kept on showing up, they eventually drowned out the counter protesters with their hate speech. Jake’s anxiety kept growing larger by the minuet.   
“No freakin’ way,” a voice said behind Jake.   
“Is that you, Peralta?” he asked again. Jake knew that voice, it was the guard that had beaten him up so many times at prison. Jake didn’t respond, maybe he would leave him alone that way.   
The guy grabbed his shoulder, “Hey! I’m talking to you!” Jake fearfully eyed the man. The man smirked, “I can’t believe they let you do this,”  
“Trust me, neither can I,”   
The man kept harassing Jake as a small crowd began to grow around them.  
“You do realize that’s a cop, right?” One of his buds said.  
The guard guy laughed, “Its fine, he’s a Hebe, can’t you tell by his big nose,”  
Jake tried his absolute best to block them out, but it was becoming progressively harder. The slurs echoed in his ears. He could hear his heartbeat quicken its pace. They were laughing. How was someone so messed up that they could hate an entire group of people over nothing?   
He couldn’t breathe, he felt like he was drowning in his own thoughts. The words getting yelled at him were not helping. And the men were refusing to cease. He clutched his chest as his vision got blurry. Was it because he wasn’t breathing normally or was it the tears? He doesn’t know. He dug his nails in his palms.  
“Oh look, the little Jew boy is going to cry,” they jeered at him some more.  
Jake was trying his absolute best not to lose it. He was shaking vigorously. ‘Oh,’ he thought to himself, ‘so this is what a panic attack is,’. He wanted to be home with Amy. Or back at the precinct finishing up some awesome case. He wanted to escape this situation. He wanted to run as far as he could.  
“Hey! Heeb! Aren’t you going to say something?”  
Jake’s nails created little crescent shape cuts in his palms, “Shut up,” he said beneath his breath.  
They laughed some more, “Well c’mon! Speak up boy!”  
Jake wanted to explode, and he was so close to doing so, “Shut up,” he said more audible this time.  
“Aw, look at him trying to be all tough,” they said some more aggravating and offensive terms, “Hate to tell it to you, bud, but we ain’t gonna stop, not till everyone one of your kind is dead,” he spit in Jake’s face.  
“SHUT UP YOU BASTARDS, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP,” and there it was. Jake had exploded. Everyone was hushed. He realized he had messed up; he could be fired.   
An officer walked up to Jake and put a hand on his shoulder, “I’ll take your post, I’ve notified the precinct you’ll be returning,”  
Jake let out a shaky breath and nodded. His heart was thumping even louder now.   
What was going to happen to him, would he be suspended. He would most definitely have to file a report. He should have just kept his mouth shut and not said anything. He started crying again while walking back. It was only a little but longer, he could have waited it out. Everyone was going to upset with him. What if those guys filed a complaint?! Then Jake would really be in trouble. He thought of all the bad things that could happen bounced around in his head as the recent events played over and over in his head. He regretted everything. This was really bad.


	3. Always overreacting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake thinks back to his childhood.

Jake entered the nine-nine wishing he could just curl up in himself. Everyone was quiet and Jake could feel eyes on him.  
“Peralta!” Terry waved him over.  
Jake walked over to him with his head down, “Sarge,” he spoke softly.  
“What happened out there?” he asked seeming concerned.  
“I messed up,” Jake spoke hanging his head low.  
Terry sighed, “Are you ok,”  
Jake let out a joyless laugh, “I’ve never felt better,”  
“I’m worried about you, it’s unlike you to explode like that,”  
‘You don’t know me!’ he wanted to yell, but he stayed silent.  
Terry looked at Jake sympathetically, “You should take the rest of the day off,”  
Jake looked up, “Sarge-”  
“You need to take some time off, Jake,”  
“Fine,” Jake grumbled.  
He walked over to his desk to grab some things when Amy approached him.  
“Hey,”   
“Hey,” Jake replied not looking at her, he couldn’t bear to look at her.  
“Hun are you ok,” she asked soothingly.  
“I’m fine,” he said slamming a drawer shut.  
Amy didn’t flinch, “Talk to me,”  
Jake shook his head, “Not here, not now,”  
“When I get home then?”  
Jake nodded, “Yeah,”  
“I love you so much,”  
He couldn’t help but smile,” I love you too, Ames,”  
\---------------------------------------------  
Jake sat around his apartment. He tried to watch a Nicolas Cage movie, but he couldn’t focus on the plot. He was getting frustrated, he felt like he should be working, solving cases, and saving lives. But here he was slumped over on the coach with National Treasure on mute in the background. He thought about how he could’ve handled the situation better. This only seemed to make him feel worse. He longed to tell Amy about why he acted the way he did. About all the PTSD and Anxiety that prison had given him. How he flinched whenever someone slightly yelled at him. He wanted to tell her everything, but at the same time he was terrified of doing this.   
What if Amy thought he was overreacting, what if she thought he was lying, and what if this scared her and she left him?! These questions infiltrated Jake’s mind.   
He felt another panic attack start up. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to focus on his breathing. Maybe he did need a therapist. The only reason he didn’t have one yet was because he didn’t want to pay someone to pry through his mind only to give him useless advice.  
He wanted Amy. That's what he wanted. He didn’t know what he would do without her. She was the reason he made it through prison.   
He kept thinking about Amy and eventually this helped him calm down. Now his only problem was having some slight sensory overload. He laid down on the couch and fell asleep.  
Jake was having a nice dream about when he and Amy would finally have a child. He never realized how much he wanted a child until recently. Of course, he always knew he wanted a child, but right now he desperately wanted a mini peraltiago baby. He just thought about all of the nice and wonderful memories he was going to gain from having a kid. He was going to do whatever it would take to be there for his kids, he was not going to be like his dad. He didn’t want anyone to go through what he went through.  
Alas, the nice dream Jake was having slowly turned to a nightmare. This one took place when he was back in middle school. He was a scrawny kid with braces with neon rubber bands. His hair was way out of style and people called him out on this. Now, this particular dream was a rendition of a memory. He and Gina were walking down the hallway. She was ranting about the current drama within her friend group. Jake was trying to listen, but he had lost interest.  
As they took their seats in their classroom a loud voice boomed on the overhead speakers, “Jake Peralta please report to the office,” Everyone turned back and looked at Jake. He sighed and left the classroom.  
The office had an odd smell to it, it was a mix of perfume and burnt rubber. It was unpleasant to say the least. The secretary eyed him and pointed to the principal’s office. He nodded and pushed open the wooden door to his office.  
The principal was sitting in his chair and sharpening pencils. He faced the sharp tips on his desk facing Jake. He sighed and leaned back in his swivel chair, “Do you know why I called you up here?” he asked with an authoritarian tone.  
Jake gulped, “No sir’”  
“Drew Thompson said you cursed him out during lunch,”  
“Oh...that,” Jake knew he was going to be in trouble, the school had a no swear word policy. And Jake hadn’t even cussed him out. He just threw out a couple minor swear words.  
“Now,” he leaned closer to Jake, “Why on earth would you do that?”  
Jake looked down at the ground, “He told me my dad was never going to love me or come back for me,” he said softly   
“That's not an excuse for what you did,”  
“But I-”  
“No buts!”  
Jake frowned, ”With all due respect, I don’t think you’re being fair,”  
He laughed, “I hate to tell a kid this, but it needs to be said. Grow up Peralta, if your dad has been gone this long and hasn’t shown interest in taking you in, I think it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t care about you. The real-world sucks but you have to take it like a man. Are you a man Peralta?”  
Jake looked up and met his eyes, “Yes,”  
“Good, now I’ll let you go without after school detention, but you will have detention during lunch,”  
Jake simply nodded.  
After that Jake tried to hold onto hope that his dad would still be there for him. Jake woke up a little later feeling ill. He groaned and sat up. He heard keys rattling and he knew it was Amy coming home. He had to act okay, for her.


	4. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings- mentions of self harm

Amy opened the door quietly in case Jake was still asleep. Jake smiled once he saw her, “Hey” He said softly.  
“Hey, how are you?” She asked  
He shrugged, “I’m better, I’m sorry for exploding like that. I should have just stood there and taken it,”  
Amy grabbed his face, “Don’t even apologize for something like this! What you did was ok, you were just reacting to those assholes,"  
“Yeah,” He removed her hands from his face and held them  
Amy sighed, “Is there anything else that could’ve caused this?”  
“Prison, maybe,”  
Amy looked confused, “What does prison have to do with this?”  
“One of the guys there today worked at the prison. He liked to beat me up. It was horrible, Ames,”  
“I’m so sorry that happened to you Jake,”  
“It's fine, it's still no excuse for how I acted,”  
“Maybe not, but it’s a reason,” Amy shrugged, “Do you want to watch something?”  
Jake shook his head, “I just want to be with you,”  
Amy smiled weakly, “Ok,”  
Jake looked like he might cry, “I love you so much,”  
“I love you more,”  
They cuddled up together and slept like that.  
When Jake woke up the next morning thinking that perhaps the past day had been another dream, sadly he wasn’t that lucky. Amy was sitting up beside him on the phone, “Oh, he’s awake,” she looked over at Jake, “Its Terry, he has some... news,”  
Jake sighed and took the phone from her hands, “What's up sarge?” he asked trying to sound chipper.  
“Jake, the guys from yesterday have filed a complaint. They considered it police brutality. Jake, they want you fired,”  
Jake knew this might happen, “Well, am I?”  
“No, not yet. But they also mentioned they might sue you,”  
Jake rubbed his temples, “Great,”  
Amy looked at him sympathetically.  
“What do you suppose I do?”  
“As much as I hate to say it, you should apologize,”  
“No,”  
“Jake-”  
“No! I admit what I did was probably over the top but Sarge you know what it's like to face prejudice and they were technically harassing me. So no, I won’t apologize. I’m sorry,”  
Terry sighed, “Ok, then all we can do is wait it out,”  
“Ok,”  
“Take care Jake,”  
“You too,” and then he hung up.  
“So,” Amy began, “What’s that about?”  
“They’re going to try to sue me,” he said exasperated already.  
“Oh, that’s bad,” Amy began panicking, “We don’t have enough money to pay them if they do sue us. I don’t even think we could afford lawyers, and we both hate lawyers,”  
“Amy,” Jake put his hand on her shoulder, “It's going to be ok, it's not like they’re going to actually sue us, and even they do, it won’t be the worst thing,”  
Amy nodded, “Yeah I guess you’re right. Now lets get ready for work,”  
\---------------------------------  
Terry looked at Jake and Amy, “So they’ve upped what they’ve decided to do, as of now they are looking into taking you to court,”  
“Oh,” Jake laughed nervously, “So, this is the worst thing that could happen,” Jake was managing to maintain his cool at the moment. He was trying to comfort himself with humor.  
“They couldn’t actually get him convicted of anything, could they?” Amy asked.  
“I don’t know,” Terry responded.  
“But whatever does happen we’ll have each other,” Jake added, “Right, Amy?”  
She tried to smile, “Right,”  
“Besides, this is New York, I doubt a jury would rule in favor of Nazis,”  
Amy shrugged, “True, but they aren’t very fond of cops either,”  
Jake sighed, “Yea.., anyways I’m going to try and repress this entire conversation and get back to work,”  
Amy looked over at him, “Jake-”  
“Nope, I’m fine,”  
Amy sighed and watched as Jake made his way back to his desk.  
She turned and looked at Terry, “What are we going to do?”  
“I asked him to maybe apologize, but he decided not to,”  
“I understand why he didn’t but still..,”  
“Who knows, maybe this will all work itself out,”  
Amy nodded, “I sure hope so,”  
\-------------------------------------------  
Rosa was sitting at her desk watching everything unfold. She had known Jake long enough to know when he was nearly at his breaking point. It seemed it was just around the corner. When Jake brakes he goes into depressive episodes, some have been worse than others.  
The first time Rosa witnessed it was back at the academy. Jake looked like he hadn’t slept in days or weeks. He wasn’t talking or eating. He looked like he had given up. Then nearly two weeks later he was back to his normal self. He was smiling and joking around like he nothing had happened.  
Rosa asked him what was wrong, and he just shrugged, “Sometimes it happens,” he merely said and then went on with his day. Despite knowing it was more than what he had conveyed Rosa decided not to pry and figure out what was wrong.  
Years later Jake told Rosa what was wrong, “My dad had promised to come and hang out with me. He decided that I wasn’t worth his time and called off the plans the day before. It just kind of threw me off and I just clocked out and disassociated, I didn’t want to do anything. I just wanted to like I was worth something,”  
Since then Rosa had been on the lookout for whenever Jake would break again. She thinks that everything that happened the day prior had been the second to last straw. If anything, else were to happen he would break. She walked up and walked over to his desk where Jake was pretending to do work, “Hey,”  
He looked up at her, “Hey,” he said sounding fake happy, “What's up?”  
“Are you ok?”  
He rolled his eyes, “I’m fine,”  
“I don’t believe that,”  
“Rosa, I’m fine. It was just a small thing that went down. It definitely won’t haunt me the rest of my life,” Jake fidgeted with the pencil in his hand. Rosa could tell he was unformattable and she didn’t want to make him feel unsafe in any way.  
Rosa sighed, “Just, call me if you ever need anything, ok,”  
Jake nodded, “Ok,”  
Rosa shook her head deciding she wouldn’t get anywhere; she was going to go to Amy instead. She left Jake to pretend to work a case.  
She met Amy in the break room, “What's wrong?” Amy asked as Rosa shut the door.  
“Jake isn’t ok,”  
“Well obviously, what I mean is that he’s going to get worse. He has severe depressive episodes and I think he’s one step away from having one,”  
Amy looked worried, “How bad are they? Like has he ever...,” She didn’t want to finish the sentence.  
Rosa sighed, “Yes he has. A few times. I stopped him once. But the reason I’m telling you this is so you can look after him. Make sure he doesn’t end up hurting himself,”  
Amy nodded, “Ok,”  
\--------------------------  
Jake saw Amy and Rosa walk into the break room; he knew they were talking about him. He stood out by the door waiting for them to come out. The door opened and almost hit him in the face.  
“What were you talking about?” He inquired.  
Rosa shrugged, “Girl stuff,”  
“As in?”  
“Periods!” Amy announced, “yes, we were talking about periods,”  
‘Ok, so maybe they weren’t talking about me’ Jake thought. He turned around not wanting to hear any more talk about periods.  
That’s when his mind drifted, blood. Blood came from cuts, and cuts meant... He stopped himself from thinking any farther. Maybe he wasn’t as ok as he thought. But then again, in the past it always relieved stress. It was bad, he knew this, but it made him feel free.  
He needed to stay clean, for Amy.  
It was all for Amy.


End file.
